1. There is absolutely no reason to try to make a relationship work with a man your family adores but whose seduction techniques bore you horizontal.2. When in doubt, tell him that you've "only slept with one man and he wasn't very good." It's easier than sitting in a darkened room, totaling up a number larger than the gross national product, halving it and dividing by five just to save face.3. If premature ejaculation isn't included under the definition of mitigating circumstances for manslaughter, it bloody well should be.4. There are no straight men on the planet whose sexual fantasy doesn't involve lesbian action. If you do find one, give him a medal for originality.5. Size matters. A lot. There's nothing more disappointing than reaching for a dill and coming away with a gherkin. If this analogy mystifies you, you're going to have trouble with this book.6. If all else fails, be yourself. If might be everything you ever dreamed it could be.