，.L.C.<br > be reproduced or utilized<br >~chanical， including photocopying，<br >retrieval system， without written<br >Chapter One<br > | can t tell you my first name---or my last name，<br >either. And I can t tell you where I live. But I might be<br >lying in your refrigerator s vegetable bin or in the<br >produce section of your local supermarket right now.<br > So let me ask you--no， beg you--please， please don t<br >put any vegetables into a zipper bag. I know this sounds<br >crazy， but let me explain.<br > I can t tell you anything about me or my friends，<br >because then the Jerkks would find us. They are the<br >fungus among us. They are trying to decay the whole<br >world--all the vegetables and people.<br > It s not easy for me to keep secrets Okay， I ll tell<br >you this much. The town I live in is a small one. To tell<br >you any more would be dangerous. If any of the head<br >fungi (I mean the fungi in charge， not the ones that grow<br >on someone s head) got hold of me， the results would<br >be， well， blistering.<br >