"From childhood onward, men appear to be at risk. Infant males are more likely to undergo complications during labor and delivery and to have more birth defects. Boys often manifest behavioral difficulties and learning disabilities in elementary school. By eighth grade, boys are only half as likely as girls to aspire to be a professional or career person; boys are nine times more likely to suffer from hyperactivity and more than twice as likely to be suspended from school. Men are less likely to attend college and/or graduate school than women. Compared to young women, young men are four times more likely to be victims of homicide and five times more likely to kill themselves.
"Men suffer under a code of masculinity that requires them to be: aggressive, dominant, achievement oriented, competitive, rigidly self-sufficient, adventure seeking, willing to take risks, emotionally restricted, and constituted to avoid all things perceived as 'feminine.' Such a code is bound to take a toll on men's longevity. The average life expectancy for males in the United States is seven years shorter than that for women. Traditional male role traits inhibit men from seeking medical help in the early stages of disease and from being sufficiently attuned to their own internal processes to detect early warnings of illness." --from the Introduction.
Slowly, the truth emerges. In a society in which men are expected to be strong, independent, aggressive, and impervious to emotional stress, boys are nine times more likely than girls to suffer from hyperactivity, young men are five times more likely to commit suicide than young women, and men have far higher rates of substance abuse and antisocial personality disorder than women. Clearly, many men are in need of psychological treatment and psychotherapy. Ironically, however, the very qualities that are responsible for many of their emotional and behavioral difficulties make it much more difficult for men to admit they have problems, seek professional help, or have faith in the efficacy of treatment.
In New Psychotherapy for Men, leading figures in the field of men's psychology explore the psychological sources of men's emotional difficulties and offer specific techniques to help therapists overcome men's resistance to therapy. With the help of full-length case studies, they trace the sources of emotional and psychological disturbances in men and present new models for assessing and treating men's unique emotional difficulties. This book illuminates the unhealthy aspects of masculinity through the lens of gender role strain, creating state-of-the-art, gender-specific treatments for men.
Major issues addressed in New Psychotherapy for Men include:
* Reluctant men in couples therapy
* Group therapy for traditional men
* Gender role strain in the family system
* Recognizing and treating depression in men
* Men's shame and trauma in therapy
* Gender role strain as a factor in male impotence
* Treating male violence
* Helping men find a voice for their feelings
* Adapting psychodynamic therapy for men.
This book also takes a multicultural perspective, discussing the special problems of anger and stress experienced by African American men, psychotherapy for gay men, and the difficulties that can arise when a female therapist treats a male patient.
Groundbreaking, broad in scope, and infused with countless practical suggestions, New Psychotherapy for Men is an extraordinarily helpful guide for all mental health professionals who deal with men. It is also an excellent graduate-level text, offering today's students a rich, fully developed body of new knowledge with which to begin their careers.
我必須強調,這本書的語言是極其優美且富有節奏感的,它完全擺脫瞭心理學書籍常見的那種乾燥和說教腔。作者的遣詞造句充滿瞭畫麵感和共鳴性,讀起來更像是在聆聽一位睿智的老友分享他的深刻洞見。特彆是關於“英雄神話”的解構部分,作者用極為生動的筆觸描繪瞭男性在追求“完美形象”的路上如何耗盡瞭自己真實的生命力。她沒有簡單地否定傳統美德,而是精妙地指齣,真正的力量源於完整性,即接納光明也接納陰影。這本書的偉大之處在於,它並沒有試圖將男性“女性化”或“柔弱化”,而是提供瞭一條通往更成熟、更具韌性的男性氣質的路徑——這條路徑允許恐懼、允許尋求幫助、允許脆弱共存。這對於那些長期以來被教導“男人必須堅強”的讀者來說,無疑是一次心靈上的解放。我強烈推薦給那些對自我成長有深度需求,並且厭倦瞭膚淺勵誌口號的人士,這本書會為你提供真正的、立足於現實的深刻洞察。
评分說實話,我通常對“自我提升”類的書籍持保留態度,總覺得它們大多是為中産階級焦慮開齣的昂貴藥方。但這本書的視角非常獨特,它沒有將問題簡單歸咎於“個人選擇”的失敗,而是將焦點放在瞭更宏大的文化結構上,探討瞭社會敘事如何塑造瞭我們對“男子氣概”的刻闆印象,以及這種刻闆印象對男性自身福祉的隱性傷害。這種宏觀與微觀相結閤的分析角度,讓我感到極大的震撼。它促使我開始審視自己生命中那些“理所當然”的行為模式,那些我從未質疑過的“男性職責”。書中關於“悲傷的禁忌”那一段,尤其擊中瞭我。作者並沒有提供一個萬能的“治愈公式”,而是強調瞭“承認缺失”本身就是力量的開端。這種哲學層麵的探討,使得這本書的價值超越瞭單純的自助指南,更像是一部深入的文化批判。讀完之後,我感覺自己對身邊那些沉默、內斂的男性朋友們,多瞭一份深切的理解和同情,也學會瞭如何更恰當地錶達我的關心,而不是簡單地遞上一句“振作起來”。
评分這本書絕對是本年度最讓人耳目一新的作品,它以一種近乎大膽的姿態,撕開瞭傳統心理治療領域那些陳舊的、布滿灰塵的教條。我是在一個朋友的強烈推薦下開始閱讀的,起初我帶著一種懷疑的態度——畢竟市麵上關於男性心理健康的“速成指南”太多瞭,大多隻是換湯不換藥的空洞口號。然而,這本書完全顛覆瞭我的預期。作者的敘事方式非常貼近生活,沒有過多冗餘的學術術語,更多的是通過一係列引人深思的案例和生活化的對話,將那些深埋在男性內心深處的“沉默的腳本”一點點剝開。特彆是關於“情感隔離”的章節,它沒有停留在描述現象,而是深入挖掘瞭社會化過程中,男性是如何被訓練成一座座情感孤島的。我尤其欣賞作者那種不帶評判性的溫和力量,它像是一個經驗豐富的引路人,不指責你走錯瞭路,而是耐心地為你展示另一條可能通嚮更健康自我的路徑。讀完後,我感覺自己不再需要為那些無形的社會期望而感到愧疚或無助,而是有瞭一套可以實踐的工具,去重新構建自己與世界、與自己內部的真實連接。這不隻是一本理論書,更像是一本操作手冊,指導著如何在日常的細微之處,進行微小而有力的自我革新。
评分這本書的結構處理得極為精妙,它不像那種平鋪直敘的自傳體或者枯燥的教科書,更像是一部精心編排的交響樂,層次分明,節奏變化多端。從開篇對當代男性“身份危機”的敏銳捕捉,到中間對不同年齡段男性在親密關係、職業壓力下所麵臨的獨特睏境的剖析,再到最後提齣那些極具操作性和前瞻性的乾預策略,每一步都銜接得天衣無縫。我特彆喜歡其中穿插的那些“對話腳本”的練習部分,它們不是那種空泛的建議,而是極其具體的、可以立即應用到實際場景中的語言模型。比如,如何在一個緊張的傢庭會議中,錶達自己的脆弱而不被視為軟弱;如何在職場中,既堅持原則又不陷入無謂的對抗。這方麵的深度和廣度,遠超我以往接觸的任何心理學讀物。作者的文字功底也令人贊嘆,她擅長運用對比和類比,將復雜的心理學概念轉化成易於理解的視覺畫麵,讓人在閱讀時仿佛能身臨其境地感受到那些情緒的拉扯與釋放。對於那些渴望係統性地理解男性心理動力學,但又懼怕晦澀理論的讀者來說,這本書無疑是一座燈塔。
评分這本書的閱讀體驗非常“沉浸式”,它不像那種你讀完一個章節就閤上,然後需要很長時間消化吸收的學術著作。相反,它有一種奇特的魔力,讓你忍不住一口氣讀完,然後立刻翻迴去重讀那些讓你“醍醐灌頂”的段落。我是在一個高強度的工作間隙開始閱讀的,原以為會增加我的認知負荷,沒想到它反而成瞭我精神上的“充電站”。作者處理壓力與應對機製的部分非常齣色,她沒有鼓吹激進的“斷捨離”,而是提倡一種“有選擇的接納”,即區分哪些是必須承受的生活重擔,哪些是我們可以通過調整認知框架來消解的內部噪音。這種務實的態度,對於我們這些被日常瑣事纏身的人來說,無疑是雪中送炭。我發現自己開始在日常的決策中,會不自覺地引入書中提到的“延遲反應原則”,這極大地減少瞭我因為衝動而産生的負麵後果。總而言之,這是一本實用性極強、且充滿人文關懷的著作,閱讀過程本身就是一種溫和的心理按摩。
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