If you've ever wondered where to find a wise man on a mountain or how to act if God appears to you, look no further. You can build a backyard water element, practice Tantric sex, or even just find out why there are over 300 million Hindu gods in this lighthearted and useful manual to all things spiritual. How to Achieve Total Enlightenment is both a humorous and inspirational guide for the soul searcher in all of us. From organized religion to surfing, from alms-seeking to Zen rock gardening, it demystifies various spiritual paths and practices and proves that the quest for meaning can be entertaining as well as enlightening. Author Sam Martin offers a no-nonsense, lighthearted approach to finding Truth in some of life's most common pursuits. You might . . . * Learn how to build a shrine to Buddha * Sign up for a pilgrimage in the Pyrenees * Make your own communion wafers * Get the perfect abs through yoga * Learn the basic techniques of the Whirling Dervish With unique, step-by-step instructions, illustrations, informative lists, and practical advice, How to Achieve Total Enlightenment is the divine guide to the meaning of life that no one should be without.