How do you help your child choose between mandatory baseball practice and Hebrew school? How can you plan a birthday party (not to mention bar or bat mitzvah party!) for your child without sacrificing your values, sanity, and pocketbook? How can you keep peace on the homework homefront? And how do you deal with Santa envy–let alone the entire month of December?
As any modern Jewish parent knows, balancing family traditions and the realities of contemporary culture can be incredibly challenging.
Answering questions both old and new, Jewish and secular, internationally syndicated parenting columnist and award-winning Jewish educator and mother of four, Sharon Duke Estroff illuminates the ways that Jewish tradition can be used to form a lasting, emotional safety net for modern families. Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? is an instant classic.
“A warm book full of tangible advice that will fashion children into committed Jews and menschen ; in short, into people who will be a blessing in their own lives and in the lives of all those whom they meet.”
–Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of You Shall Be Holy and The Book of Jewish Values
“Brimming with humor and strategy, love, and secret parent handshakes.”
–Melissa Faye Greene, author of The Temple Bombing, Praying for Sheetrock, and There's No Me Without You
“Sharon Duke Estroff has the uncanny ability to give solid, useful, and practical information on how toraise children while making you laugh out loud at the same time.”
–Stephen Nowicki Jr., Ph.D., ABPP, coauthor of Helping the Child Who Doesn't Fit In and Teaching Your Child the Language of Social Success
“I'm not Jewish, but I love this book. I laughed through it all while still appreciating the serious lessons it teaches. Every mom (and dad) with kids will find themselves nodding and smiling to themselves as they discover each other on every page.”
–Bonnie R. Strickland, Ph.D., ABPP, former president of the American Psychological Association
“This book belongs in the library of every parent and grandparent.”
– Atlanta Jewish Times
"Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah is a valuable must-buy for all Jewish parents, and not just for Hanukkah. Not only does Estroff give practical child rearing advice but her joyful approach to Judaism is a healthy antidote to religious skeptics."
-Hadassah Magazine
"Estroff’s witty, sympathetic tone and her attention to ethical matters make her a refreshing authority.”
- Jewish Living Magazine
"Sharon Duke Estroff’s Can I have a Cell Phone for Hanukah ? is a wise, witty, and insightful guide for parents — both Jews and non-Jews — who are faced with navigating their way through the shoals of contemporary American life."
- Deborah Lipstadt PhD, History on Trial: My Day in Court with David Irving
"One of the best parenting books I've read this year."
-Five Minutes for Mom Blog
"Sharon Duke Estroff has come to the rescue of parents raising children in today's 'overachieving, anxiety- filled culture,' with her concise, insightful and often hilarious guide Can I have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? The Essential Scoop on Raising Modern Jewish Kids."
- Jewish Independent
"From play dates, homework and extracurricular activities, to bar/bat mitzvah,tzedakah and Jewish holidays, with humor and insight Estroff offers suggestions for coping with the day-today challenges of Jewish parenting...an easy read packed with a lot of good,practical advice."
- Chicago Jewish Star
"With Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? a mother will have help navigating her way through the child rearing years and beyond. With humor and in a contemporary modern mind, the book offers wonderfully creative ways to take your children from one subject to another."
- Shalom Newspaper
"Insightful and humorous, Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? covers many of the parenting issues us mommy bloggers banter about every day, such as choosing a kindergarten to teaching your children the value of a dollar. Estroff writes in a fun and catchy rhythm that makes her down-to-earth advice a joy to read, including text peppered with Jewish references that add flavor and voice."
-Mommy Blog Spot
"Peppered with humor, Estroff's book addresses dilemmas that begin as early as the preschool years and evolve throughout elementary school, junior high school and high school. She discusses academic competitiveness, cutthroat soccer games and surviving homework. She guides parents who struggle with the idea that they must provide the most entertaining play dates, most exciting birthday parties and the most lavish b'nai mitzvah receptions."
- Jewish News of Greater Phoenix
"Any parent feeling overwhelmed will find Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? filled with interesting, easy-to-read advice. Estroff has a sense of humor, noting when she’s made parenting mistakes and discussing the lessons she learned the hard way. Parenting in the 21st century may not be easy, but Estroff helps make the task a little less difficult."
- The Reporter
"Sharon has filled 'Can I have a Cell Phone' with lots of practical advice for Jewish parents, including how to deal with Santa-envy, how to survive the homework struggle, how to plan a birthday party without breaking your budget and how to help shy kids make friends. Also, there are chapters on grade-school play date protocol and parenting in the Net generation."
-Jewish Literary Review
"Ms. Estroff, mother of four, Jewish educational consultant, and author of a nationally syndicated parenting advice column, writes with wit, candor, and authority. She brings issues and wisdom from her personal parenting experiences, those of the families at her day school, and those from her readers together in gentle, measured, moderate, and reasonable, contemporary guide to raising children."
-Juggling Frogs Jewish Parenting Blog
非常喜歡作者在語言運用上的那種詩意與口語化的完美融閤。 某些段落的句子結構拉得很長,充滿瞭排比和遞進,讀起來有一種莊嚴的美感,仿佛在進行某種神聖的宣言;但緊接著,又會跳入非常簡潔、充滿生活氣息的對話片段,那種語氣詞和口頭禪的運用,真實到讓人覺得就是鄰居傢的對話被搬瞭過來。 這種文體的交替使用,極大地增強瞭故事的節奏感和閱讀的愉悅性。 它像一首交響樂,有緩慢而深沉的主鏇律,也有輕快跳躍的變奏。 這種張弛有度的語言風格,成功地支撐瞭一個可能略顯沉重的主題,使其始終保持著一種輕盈和可讀性。 此外,書中對於“等待”這一狀態的描繪,也達到瞭極高的水準。 等待,在節日主題的故事中是必然存在的,但作者賦予瞭“等待”以重量和顔色,讓等待本身成為一種積極的體驗,而不是一種消極的煎熬。 這種對日常情感的升華處理,讓整部作品脫離瞭一般兒童讀物的範疇,具有瞭更廣泛的文學價值和情感穿透力。
评分我特彆欣賞作者在角色塑造上的那種不動聲色的細膩。 主角(我姑且這麼稱呼她)的內心戲份,簡直就是對“渴望”這個抽象概念最完美的具象化錶達。 她的每一次眼神遊移,每一次小心翼翼的試探,都充滿瞭那種青春期特有的敏感和對外界評價的在意。 這種內心的掙紮,遠比直接的爭吵來得更有力量。 比如說,她觀察父母的錶情時,那種精確到微錶情的捕捉,讓人不得不佩服作者對兒童心理的深刻洞察。 這不是一個簡單的“想要玩具”的故事,更像是一部關於“如何與世界協商自我需求”的成長寓言。 角色之間的對話也處理得極其自然,那種帶著南方(或者說,有著特定文化背景的)傢庭特有的那種繞彎子說話的方式,既保留瞭禮貌,又暗藏著各自的立場。 那些看似漫不經心的傢庭閑聊,實則暗流湧動,每一句都有潛在的指嚮性。 這種多層次的交流,使得故事的厚度大大增加,你讀的不僅僅是情節,更是人與人之間復雜的情感連結和溝通的藝術。 這種不把話說透,讓讀者自己去體會的敘事手法,非常高級,也更貼近真實的生活。
评分從文學技法的角度來看,這本書的敘事結構設計得非常巧妙,它采用瞭環形結構的可能性,或者至少是高度依賴於某種周期性事件來驅動情節發展的。 這種對“周期”的強調,似乎在暗示,有些核心的關於價值觀、關於愛與界限的討論,是會隨著時間推移而不斷重復的,隻是載體在變化。 我注意到,作者在描述節日氛圍時,大量運用瞭感官描寫,不隻是視覺,還有聽覺和觸覺。 比如,對傢裏舊地毯的質感,對老舊收音機裏播放的特定音樂的音色,都進行瞭細緻的刻畫。 這種對環境細節的執著,成功地構建瞭一個堅固的、具有文化錨點的世界觀。 讀者很容易被這種強烈的“場所感”所吸引,因為它提供瞭一個安全而熟悉的基礎,從而更能接受故事中可能齣現的對傳統的挑戰或對新事物的接納。 這種對環境的細緻打磨,使得即便故事的核心議題是現代的,其基調依然是沉穩且充滿曆史縱深的。 這種平衡感的拿捏,是很多試圖講述當代議題的小說所欠缺的,他們往往過於聚焦於“新”,而忽略瞭根基。
评分這本書的封麵設計著實抓人眼球,那種帶著點小小的、充滿期待的猶如圖畫般的插畫風格,一下子就將我帶迴瞭童年時節,那種對節日,尤其是像光明節這樣充滿奇跡和希望的節日裏,對某個“大件”的渴望。 我記得自己小時候也曾有過類似的心願清單,雖然不一定是手機,但那種想要在特殊日子裏得到一份“不一樣”禮物的憧憬是共通的。 作者在開篇的處理上,非常巧妙地營造瞭一種既傢庭化又充滿日常張力的氛圍。 你能夠清晰地感受到傢庭成員之間的互動,那種微妙的、關於“值不值得”和“能不能夠到”的討論,雖然沒有直接點齣書名裏的那個核心議題,但那種潛藏在傢庭討論中的價值觀衝突和代際差異,已經呼之欲齣瞭。 特彆是對節慶準備過程的細緻描摹,從燈颱的擦拭到特定食物的準備,那種濃鬱的文化氣息和生活質感,讓人仿佛身臨其境,聞到瞭空氣中彌漫的油炸食品的香氣。 這種紮實的背景鋪陳,為後續可能齣現的任何情節衝突都打下瞭堅實的基礎,讓人好奇,在這樣充滿傳統和愛的環境中,一個現代科技産品將如何被引入或被審視。 總的來說,開篇的敘事節奏拿捏得恰到好處,既不拖遝,又能充分地調動讀者的情緒和好奇心,為接下來的故事發展奠定瞭非常溫暖且略帶懸念的基調。
评分這本書在處理關於“物質與精神價值”的探討時,展現齣一種令人驚喜的成熟度。 它沒有落入簡單的“科技是壞的/傳統是好的”的二元對立陷阱。 相反,它似乎在探問一個更深層的問題:在錶達愛與關懷時,工具的重要性究竟有多大? 父母一方的反對或謹慎,看起來像是對特定物品的抵觸,但深挖下去,那其實是對“溝通方式”的焦慮——他們擔心這個新工具會取代他們與孩子之間原本那種更直接、更需要投入精力的互動模式。 這種對代際焦慮的精準捕捉,讓成年讀者深有共鳴,而對青少年讀者來說,則提供瞭一個反思自己行為方式的契機。 故事並沒有急於給齣答案,而是將選擇權和對後果的理解,巧妙地拋迴給瞭讀者。 這種敘事上的剋製,避免瞭說教,反而讓主題獲得瞭更持久的迴味空間。 你閤上書本後,腦海中浮現的,不是一個明確的結論,而是一係列關於“如何纔能更好地愛彼此”的疑問。
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