Intuitively, people sense that marriage can be the best me-

dium for satisfying their most profound yearning: the need to

10ve and be loved. However, their intuition is shaken severely

by a destructively self-centered world that incites everyone to

compete unceasingly for economic and occupational superior-

ity over others. Today, men and women are very uncertain

about where to place love in their scale of values, and they are

extremely susceptible to the divisive pressures of their individ-

ualistic pursuits. They also lack the knowledge essential to as-

sure their gratification and to resolve the conflicts that inevita-

bly arise between spouses. Burdened by such doubts and

confusion, how is it possible for husbands and wives to pre-

serve and deepen the fulfillments of the love for which they

married?

Our answer to this question has emerged from a long and

intensive study. Naturally, we familiarized ourselves with the

extensive literature on love and marriage. We also drew on

relevant writings in social philosophy, human sexuality, inti-

mate relationships, personality development, and family sys-

tems theory. In addition, we interviewed couples who had

been married for varying lengths of time, taking them step by

step through an open-ended questionnaire we designed for