Prior to gaining primary custody of my three sons in January

1992, I led the single life of a divorced man and enjoyed a

rewarding career. 1 traveled about 70 percent of the time, lived

alone in a nice aparnnent, and accepted my role as a visiting

parent. Regrettably, there were times I lived as far as 1,200

miles away from my children and I wound up spending a for-

tune trying to visit them from Chicago to San Antonio every

four to eight weeks.

After a year of commuting, I transferred to Dallas to be

closer to my children.Three months later my ex-wife asked,

"How would you feel about the boys coming to live with

you?" I immediately, without thinking, said, "Yes!"

Almost as instantly, my mind was floodcd with a bombard-

ment of obstacles I would face if my children lived with inc.

What about my job? How would I travel? Who would care for

the boys when I worked?What about my social life? Would I

be able to provide for nay children? What if the boys didn t like

living with me?

My fears and anxieties grew. I tried to stay optimistic by

focusing on the positive aspects of having custody, like not