具体描述
Amazon.com It's no mistake that Stephen McCauley's The Object of My Affection ends at a carnival, for the book is, shockingly enough, not about ballroom dancing or Jennifer Aniston's hair, but rather a funny, bittersweet rumination on the thrill rides we endure and the trick mirrors through which we peer, all in the name of relationships. George is a gay kindergarten teacher, holding a torch of the inextinguishable variety for his not-worth-it ex-boyfriend. Nina is a pregnant "almost-psychologist" feminist with a nail-polish obsession and an overbearing boyfriend. The focus of the novel is certainly on the relationship between these two, but McCauley also brings an entire fictional ensemble to life, richly nuanced with quirky humor. After a night utterly devoid of sleep, romance, or even physical comfort on a stranger's futon, George decides to cut his losses and leave in the middle of the night, silently wondering about his generation's aversion to mattresses: "I've never trusted people who feel compelled to replace them with uncomfortable, expensive substitutes." As he leaves, his blind date caps off the evening with some unsolicited dietary advice, advising him that he should really cut down on dairy. "Thanks," George deadpans. "I've been meaning to eliminate it from my diet. This should give me the extra push." The Object of My Affection gets you to care about this screwed-up lot of characters as they attempt to force the square peg of life-as-it-is-wished into the round hole of life-as-it-is. It offers no pat resolutions but rather an overall sense of hope, made all the more believable by the fact that the author has not frantically tried to tie up every single loose end. Instead, George, Nina, and those who touch them manage to push off from their unreasonably idealistic visions of the future and anchor, albeit tenuously, to the blessings of the present, resolved to remain standing amidst the forces that move them, as McCauley writes, "as inevitable as death and much stronger than love." --Bob Michaels --This text refers to the Paperback edition. From Publishers Weekly This is the gently comic story of two insecure young people who share a Brooklyn apartment: a gay man and a pregnant woman who are both on the brink of financial and emotional disaster. PW found the first novel "leisurely and meandering," its characters "vibrant" and "charming." Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc. See all Editorial Reviews
《对象情感》是一本 explorative journey into the intricate tapestry of human connection, delving into the profound and often elusive nature of affection. It is a meticulously crafted exploration that eschews simplistic definitions and instead dives deep into the multifaceted expressions, motivations, and evolution of how we form and maintain emotional bonds. The book begins by dismantling the conventional understanding of affection, suggesting that it is not merely a passive feeling but an active, dynamic force that shapes our perceptions and behaviors. It posits that affection is rooted in a complex interplay of biological predispositions, psychological needs, and socio-cultural influences. Early chapters lay the groundwork by examining the evolutionary underpinnings of attachment, drawing insights from primatology and developmental psychology to understand the primal drives that compel us towards connection. The book argues that our capacity for affection is not a mere evolutionary accident, but a fundamental survival mechanism that has facilitated cooperation, protection, and the propagation of our species. From this biological bedrock, "Object Affection" then ascends to the psychological realm. It dissects the various forms affection can take – from the fierce protectiveness of a parent towards a child, to the tender camaraderie between friends, the passionate devotion of lovers, and even the quiet fondness for cherished objects or places. Each form is analyzed through the lens of attachment theory, exploring how early experiences with caregivers lay the foundation for our adult relationships and shape our "attachment styles." The book offers a nuanced perspective, moving beyond the rigid categories of secure, anxious, and avoidant, to illustrate the spectrum of human bonding and the ways in which these styles can be both inherited and, crucially, reshaped through conscious effort and meaningful experiences. A significant portion of the book is dedicated to the cognitive and emotional architecture of affection. It probes the subtle signals, both verbal and non-verbal, through which affection is communicated and received. This includes an in-depth analysis of body language, tone of voice, and the power of shared experiences in forging deeper connections. The author meticulously dissects the role of empathy – its development, its limitations, and its indispensable contribution to genuine affection. The book explores how our capacity to understand and share the feelings of others is a cornerstone of meaningful relationships, enabling us to offer comfort, support, and validation. Furthermore, "Object Affection" ventures into the philosophical and existential dimensions of our need for connection. It grapples with questions of loneliness, isolation, and the profound human yearning to be seen, understood, and valued. The book argues that affection is not just about receiving love, but also about the act of giving it – the generosity of spirit that allows us to extend ourselves to others, to invest our emotional energy, and to find meaning in contributing to the well-being of another. This exploration delves into the concept of "care" as a primary manifestation of affection, examining how acts of service, nurturing, and advocacy can be powerful expressions of our deepest emotional bonds. The book also tackles the complexities and challenges inherent in maintaining affectionate relationships. It acknowledges that affection is not always a smooth, unblemished path. It addresses the inevitable conflicts, misunderstandings, and periods of distance that can test even the strongest bonds. "Object Affection" offers practical insights and thoughtful reflections on navigating these difficulties, emphasizing the importance of communication, forgiveness, and the willingness to adapt and grow within relationships. The author stresses that true affection involves not just the bright moments of joy and shared laughter, but also the resilience to weather storms together, emerging stronger and more deeply connected. A particularly compelling aspect of "Object Affection" is its exploration of the "object" in its title. This is not confined to romantic partners or family members. The book expands the notion of affection to encompass our relationships with inanimate objects that hold sentimental value, with abstract concepts that inspire passion, and even with the natural world that evokes a sense of wonder and belonging. It examines how we imbue certain possessions with emotional significance, how our dedication to a craft or a cause can be a profound form of affection, and how our connection to nature can provide solace and a sense of deep rootedness. This broadens the definition of affection, suggesting that our capacity to care and feel deeply extends far beyond the confines of interpersonal relationships. The author draws upon a rich tapestry of sources, weaving together insights from psychology, sociology, philosophy, literature, and even neuroscience. Case studies and illustrative anecdotes from diverse cultures and historical periods lend a global and timeless perspective to the discussions. The writing is characterized by its clarity, its intellectual rigor, and its profound empathy. It avoids jargon and overly academic language, instead opting for a narrative style that is both accessible and deeply engaging. The reader is invited to reflect on their own experiences, to examine their own patterns of relating, and to consider new ways of fostering and deepening their affectionate connections. Ultimately, "Object Affection" is a testament to the enduring power and essential nature of human connection. It is a book that encourages introspection, fosters understanding, and inspires a more mindful and intentional approach to the way we love, care for, and connect with the world and the beings within it. It leaves the reader with a renewed appreciation for the subtle yet profound ways in which affection shapes our lives, offering a roadmap for cultivating richer, more meaningful, and more resilient bonds in an increasingly complex world. The book serves as a gentle yet powerful reminder that at the core of our existence lies an innate drive to connect, to cherish, and to be cherished, and that in the pursuit and practice of affection, we find some of life's greatest joys and deepest meanings. It is a journey that begins with the self and extends outwards, illuminating the intricate web of relationships that define our human experience.