Have you ever wondered at the way certain people<br >are able to draw others to them and gain the admira-<br >tion and affection of friends? Some people with aver-<br >age looks attract the opposite sex like iron shavings to<br >a magnet. Business executives who may not appear<br >very successful sometimes move in an extensive net-<br >work of loyal friends.<br > Such people may or may not be wealthy， they may<br >or may not have high intelligence or expensive educa-<br >tions. But somewhere in their personalities is an in-<br >gredient causing them to be respected and admired.<br >It is the friendship factor.<br > My work as a psychologist has furnished me with<br >an unusual window on the interconnections of hu-<br >man beings. I have talked to thousands of people about<br >their closest relationships， and in watching what the<br >How the Friendship Factor Can Make You<br > an Expert at Intimacy<br > In research at our clinic， my colleagues and I have<br >discovered that friendship is the springboard to eveu"<br >other love. Friendships spill over onto the other impor-<br >tant relationships of life. People with no friends usually<br >have a diminished capacity for sustaining any kind of<br >love. They tend to go through a succession of mar-<br >riages， be estranged from various family members， and<br >have trouble getting along at work. On the other hand，<br >those who learn how to love their friends tend to make<br >long and fulfilling marriages， get along well with the<br >people at work， and enjoy their children.<br > Soon after Jack Benny died， George Burns was inter-<br >viewed on TV. "Jack and I had a wonderful friendship<br >for nearly 55 years，" Burns said. "Jack never walked<br >out on me when I sang a song， and I never walked out<br >on him when he played the violin. We laughed to-<br >gether， we played together， we worked together， we<br >ate together. I suppose that for many of those years we<br >talked every single day."<br > If we knew nothing else about those two， we could<br >safely assume that they had solid relationships in other<br >areas of their lives. Why? Because friendship is the<br >model for all intimate encounters. The basic ingredi-<br >ents for a good marriage， according to sociologist<br >Andrew Greeley， are friendship plus sex.<br > <br >