The Power of Losing Control: Finding Strength， Meaning， and Happiness in an Out-of-Control World

页数:0

价格:81.00

isbn号码:9781592400034

具体描述

From Publishers Weekly In this earnest volume， consultant and motivational speaker Caruso encourages readers to "remember that the only control you really have is over yourself，" and demonstrates how readers can keep their focus on the things that they can control rather than waste time and energy struggling against a situation or a person they can't. In letting go of the need to control， he believes， readers can attain find power in situations that used to make them feel powerless， "move past" their fears， achieve greater self-knowledge and understanding， and take great strides towards happiness and satisfaction. The author underscores his points with apt quotations from great thinkers and philosophers， from Confucius and Aristotle to John F. Kennedy and Sam Snead. He also includes poignant stories from his own life-his struggles with sports and music and a miraculous recovery from cancer-and the wisdom that helped him gain perspective.. Some anecdotes of success from his work as a corporate teacher and inspirational speaker seem too simplistic， and his overuse of italics and "quotes" are distracting， but this friendly and readable book is an inspiration to make small but meaningful changes in the way one views and responds to the world. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information， Inc. Book Description A popular motivational speaker， syndicated columnist， and cancer survivor shares priceless life lessons in this moving and inspiring guide to letting go in order to find greater power， peace， faith， and meaning in our everyday lives. When he was eighteen， Joe Caruso was diagnosed with incurable testicular cancer. Certain that he was living on borrowed time， he accepted the inevitable and began looking inward. His quest to understand the meaning of life led to the discovery of timeless truths about our spiritual and emotional existences. In The Power of Losing Control， he shares the knowledge and insights he has gained that have helped him not only to overcome the daily battles with his devastating illness but to survive. Twenty-three years later， Caruso is an internationally acclaimed speaker with his own radio show and newspaper column， an author， and business consultant whose client list boasts such corporate giants as American Express， Ford Motor Company， United Airlines， and Century 21. Famous for his motivational seminars that have literally transformed people's lives， Caruso now takes readers step-by-step through these amazing self-help techniques and strategies that show us how to stop wasting valuable time and energy， learn how to trust in something greater than ourselves， and embrace simple basic truths that include: o The five stages of wisdom o The four rules of engagement o Choosing faith over fear o How to find power in any situation， even if you don't have control over it o Be undeniable: How to create your own destiny o Personal driving myths: We are the stories we tell ourselves Filled with anecdotes and poignant real-life stories， here is the book that tells you how to reclaim personal power and gain worldly success- from the man today's top psychotherapists and leading behavioral experts call one of the premier corporate teachers of our generation. See all Editorial Reviews

用户评价

总而言之，这本书给我带来的最大改变，是一种认知上的“卸载”。它帮助我卸载了那些社会强加给我的、关于“应该如何生活”的沉重包袱。它不是教你如何更好地控制外部世界，而是教你如何更好地“与世界共舞”，即使舞步偶尔错乱。这种从“控制欲”到“顺应感”的转变，带来的平静是深刻而持久的。我感觉自己的思维变得更加灵活了，面对突如其来的变故时，不再是立刻进入“战斗或逃跑”的应激状态，而是能留出一个微小的、宝贵的间隙，去观察、去选择，而不是被惯性牵引着走。这本书的价值不在于它能解决你所有的具体问题，而在于它提供了一种强大的“元认知”工具，让你能够以一种全新的、更具韧性的视角去面对生活本身的不确定性。对于任何感觉被生活推着走的、渴望找回内在安宁的人来说，这绝对是一本值得反复阅读的指南，它将“弱点”重新定义为了“优势的起点”。

这本书的行文风格有一种独特的节奏感，它既有学术探讨的严谨，又不失个人化经验的温度。很多地方，作者会穿插一些极其真实的个人故事，那些关于脆弱、关于失败、关于不得不放手的片段，描绘得毫不矫饰，甚至带着一丝自嘲的幽默。这种坦诚是极其罕见的，在充斥着“完美人设”的时代，敢于暴露自己的“失控瞬间”，本身就是一种强大的力量展示。我特别欣赏作者处理“负面情绪”的态度。它不像某些书籍那样，要求你“立刻清除”或“积极转化”所有负面感受。相反，作者鼓励我们去“倾听”它们，把它们看作是身体或心灵发出的、关于当前环境不适应的信号。这种“接纳而非压制”的策略，在实际操作中，反而解除了我许多不必要的心理负担。我发现，当我不再费力气去假装一切都好时，那些情绪的能量反而开始减弱，因为它们不再需要持续的抵抗力来维持存在感。这是一种非常细腻的心理疏导，让我感觉自己被深深地理解和接纳，而不是被要求去“修理”成一个更好的版本。

这本书的封面设计真是抓人眼球，那种有点迷幻又带着一丝冷静的色调，一下就让人好奇这到底想表达什么。“失控的力量”这个标题本身就充满了悖论的吸引力，让人不禁想探究，我们一直努力追求的掌控感，是不是恰恰是束缚我们的枷锁？我翻开第一页时，心里其实带着点怀疑，毕竟现代社会对“成功”的定义往往和“绝对控制”紧密相连，要颠覆这种根深蒂固的观念，需要极强的说服力。作者的开篇叙述非常平实，没有一开始就抛出惊天动地的理论，反而像是在与一位老友进行一次深夜的长谈，娓娓道来生活中那些我们都经历过却从未深究的微小瞬间——比如计划赶不上变化时的沮丧，比如对未来不确定性的焦虑。这种从细微处着手的叙事方式，让我很快就产生了代入感，感觉作者真的懂我这种在条条框框里挣扎的现代人。它不像某些励志书籍那样空泛地喊口号，而是更侧重于构建一个心理框架，让我们重新审视那些我们努力想要“修复”的“失序”状态，并引导我们看到其中蕴含的生命力和创造性的潜能。这让我对后续的阅读充满了期待，希望能找到一种更松弛、更真实的自我存在方式。

如果非要说这本书有什么“缺点”，那可能就是它对那些寻求快速解决方案的读者来说，会显得有些“慢热”。它拒绝提供那种即开即用的万能公式，而是要求读者投入时间去进行一场深刻的内在对话。这本书更像是一张地图的绘制过程，而不是一个导航系统，它告诉你山川河流的走向，但最终需要你自己去选择步行还是攀爬。我注意到，在讨论“意义感”的部分，作者没有将它框定在宏大的目标里，而是回归到了日常的连接——与自然、与社群、与那些转瞬即逝的美好时刻的连接。这种对“微观意义”的强调，让我开始重新审视自己过去对“人生目标”的执念。我过去总认为，意义必须是“千秋伟业”级别的，但这本书引导我看到，一次真诚的交谈、一次专注于手头工作的沉浸感，这些“失控”于计划之外的瞬间，往往才是生命中最浓郁的底色。这种对存在本身的赞美，远比任何成就来的更持久、更令人满足。

读到中间部分，我发现作者的论述逻辑链条构建得极其严密，而且引用了大量跨学科的佐证，这让整本书的份量一下子就提升了好几个档次。这不是那种拍脑袋想出来的“心灵鸡汤”，而是经过了深思熟虑的哲学探讨和心理学观察的结晶。尤其是一个关于“适应性韧性”的章节，作者用了一个非常生动的比喻，将人类心智比作河流，而非坚硬的堤坝。堤坝虽然能抵御暂时的洪水，但最终会被僵硬的力量撕裂；而河流，虽然不断改变形态，却能顺应地貌，最终汇入大海。这个比喻让我茅塞顿开，我突然意识到，我过去总是在徒劳地试图将自己塑造成一块完美的“堤坝”，抵御生活中的每一阵风浪，结果自然是遍体鳞伤。作者提供的视角是：真正的力量不在于抵抗变化，而在于如何流畅地“流动”于变化之中。这种从刚性思维到柔性智慧的转变，是这本书最宝贵的财富。它没有承诺让你立马就变得“无所不能”，而是教你如何与“不能”和平共处，这种务实又深刻的态度，让我不得不放慢阅读速度，反复咀嚼那些看似简单却富有深意的段落。