For reasons that will become obvious, I find it difficult to write about<br >Stewart. Well, I find it difficult to write about anything, God knows.<br >But Stewart presents special problems. Do I speak of him as I later<br >came to know him, or as he appeared to me before I learned the truth,<br >before I stripped away the mask of normalcy he hid behind? For so<br >long he seemed nothing but a footnote to my life, a passing reference<br >in what I had imagined would be the story of my swift rise to literary<br >stardom. Ibday he not only haunts every linc of this statement but is,<br >ill a sense, its animating spirit, its reason for being.<br > We were roommates. I moved into Stewart Church s New York<br >apartment in the fall after my graduation from the University of<br >Minnesota. In his Roommate Wanted ad in the Village Voice, he had<br >described himself as a "First-year law student at Columbia Univer-<br >sit> ," and he looked every inch of it: tall and thin, with a doleful, high-<br >cheek-boned face, carroty hair cropped closc against the sides of his<br >narrow skull, and greenish eyes that seemed rubbed to dullness from<br >the hours spent scouring the microscopic print of his casebooks. Not<br >that any of this was exactly a bad thing. It was just that Stewart did not<br >fit my initial idea of the kind of person I would end up living with in<br >Mallhattan. I was an aspiring author and thus viewed my every action<br >;l,ld utterance with an cye to how they would appear whcn fixed in<br >imperishable print. As such, I considered myself to inhabit a highcr<br >piano of existence than people like Stewart. He so clearly belonged to<br >the trudging armies of nonartists, of mere human beings: the workaday<br >drones who live out their unobjectionable lives, then pass, unremem-<br > 103"JOAtISeIJgq3 MMM<br > uJo3"lOAIJSepwq~@oiul<br > XVt 9LOO O~L [LOL)<br > OOiO OtL (~BZ)<br > elrOlO VW tueq~UlH<br > I mHns "oAV llu~Oo 0z<br >Vlg]fl IItAIIt S]lilVH3<br >| leuulOlg<br >Ulq|WUJllt<br > :llXel<br >:OUlAIOqS<br >iI s! atls sa!ioul pue<br >la U,l{i pro aa.3npoad<br >.o; ) ,qlU ~U!llaS-asaq<br >l J:l t l~S) ~uo I u~lt<br >Oltl HO H,.LflV<br >q ll!~a ,,,##p~ pug<br >,IJadxa tie/,praalr<br >uqdxa If!,~ ~Iooq<br > aa ira/, ,aqlaq~.<br > a^!suaqaadtuoa<br >: s! aaaq.L GAG<br >,~ papuedxa pue<br >~(ud A(I lea!d~<br > m!pa ~au s!q.L<br > tuoaj ssaaoad<br > ) aleaodaoa aoj<br > q~ual-ameaJ<br > fox 8utqakaaAa<br > tuoa anoX pue<br > !aea~a UgS ura<br > noX 3! ua~<br > a~ ~oqs ~u.~<br >~puadapu! ~<br >tsotu l n.~!G<br >
發表於2024-11-07
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