CHAPTER ONE<br >It was going to be one of Kate s bad mornings. Matthew<br >knew it as soon as he woke up and saw her sitting on the<br >edge of her bed， gripping it as if it were a life raft， while she<br >stared into the distance as if she had seen smoke on the<br >horizon which might promise her rescue. But the bedroom<br >curtains， in a yellow and white pattern that she and Mat-<br >thew had once c~sen together， were all that she could see.<br > Dull daylight s~ped through the curtains. It fell on her<br >tense face， faintly oily from the cream that she had rubbed<br >into it the evening before， and was reflected in her wide，<br >dark， angry eyes. She had woken up angry， for whatever<br >reason Matthew， as always， was unable to guess. In some<br >way， whenever this happened， he took for granted that he<br >was to blame， though she never told him just how or why he<br >was. Distantly， silently， she would carry the dark secret of<br >how he had offended her throughout the day， only， ap-<br >parently， all of a sudden to forget it herself and become<br >relaxed， casual， even loving. Less and less loving as time<br >passed， ye~ it could sometimes happen still.<br > It was all very mysterious to Matthew， and very painful.<br >He was a man who blamed himself easily for the unhap-<br >piness of others， a quality in himself that he had failed to<br >recognise as a kind of egoism. In his diffident way， he saw<br >himself as affecting other people far more potently than he<br >actually did. Usually he tried to deal with his incom-<br >prehensible guilt by saying nothing， showing nothing and<br ><br >