A highly original debut novel from a brilliant young Edinburgh writer. When thirty-eight-year-old pale and uninteresting Paula is dumped by her long-term accountant boyfriend Alan, she decides that drastic measures must be taken. Spying on Alan and his new, younger girlfriend Belinda isn t getting her anywhere and a surprise 'artistic' appearance in their flat only results in a restraining order. So Paula decides it is time to lose her boring image and spice up her sex life thanks to an ill thought out boast to Alan about her wild new horizons, she finds herself in front of the not particularly tasteful red velvet drapes of Liscious; the local S&M Club. Once inside she finds a strange kind of comfort in the support of her new friends including Luda the transvestite, Dave her adoring sidekick, Gretchen the kind hearted Dominatrix, her wannabe minion Slave Boy and the mysterious, and otherwise naked, Man in the Mask. When the group decide to pool their talents to help bring Alan and Paula back together a hilarious adventure ensues, involving love, bondage, painful misunderstandings, James Bond and an oddly eloquent tree.