Were you confused but entertained by a certain recent best seller? Want to be confused but entertained some more? Welcome to the world of The Da Vinci Barcode An alternate uni- verse in which cash registers ring up Pi million, the Louvre Pyramide is upside down, and Catholic priests have been kneeling before the bones of Mary Magdalen for over a thousand years Robert Longone, Professor of Symbology at Harvard Business School, is drawn into a mystical web with international implications when he receives an invisible two-dimensional bull's-eye barcode from the recently deceased former Director of the Louvre Shopping Mall. His task is complicated by the fact that the former Director had not one but two gorgeous granddaughters, Marie and Madeleine Navet, who join him in deciphering the coded messages. Robert calls upon the expertise of his friend the revered medical symbologist Linden Teabag. At long last, in the very land of the Goddess, he confronts the one-eyed hunchback Fibonacci and everybody learns way too much about themselves and about Mary Magdalen.