Editor Geoff Tibballs presents more than 5,000 comebacks, put-downs, snaps, insults, unadmiring quips, and quotes for every occasion. From the most elegant of studied insults to the wickedest of put-downs, from the language of the street to the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, from playground insults to sports, family, and marriage jibes — here is every possible barb you could ever need, guaranteed to crack up all those around you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Your mother's so fat, she has her own area code. Are your parents siblings? Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice. Is there no beginning to your talents? You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Don't you need a license to be that ugly? Don't let your mind wander — it's too little to be let out alone. Make a mental note — oh, I see you're out of paper. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. If I throw a stick, will you leave? I'd love to go out with you but I have to worm my dog.