This book presents 8 core principles of a new parenting philosophy. It helps parents to step out of their old frame of reward and punishment, to give up their old automatic reactions when their children misbehave, and lead them into a new mode so as to connect with and enjoy their children.The principles are: my child wants to be successful; behaviour is the signal to my child's emotional state; inappropriate behaviour means my child is having a problem, not being a problem; my needs are no more or no less important than my child's; I accept my child as a competent and unique individual; the behaviour I focus on grows; I need to say what my child can hear; and, good discipline requires connection (punishment breaks connection).Part 1 covers the 8 principles; Part 2 focuses on common aspects of daily life, putting the principles into skills for use in these situations: getting out the door, mealtime, homework and school, chores and allowance, sibling rivalry, and bedtime.