A deeply probing book that gets to the heart of what all healthy romantic relationships need: fairness.

Most couples enter a marriage hoping it can last forever. So, why are more and more relationships failing over time? As Dr. B. Janet Hibbs explains, poor communication skills or inherent differences between men and women are not solely to blame. The answer lies much deeper— the key to healthy, loving relationships is fairness. Without a sense of fairness, marriages fail.

Intuitively, we think we know what is “fair.” But as this book reveals, the way we each define “what’s fair” is much more complex, and is powerfully shaped by our family expectations and experiences.

Fairness issues underlie everyday problems that become larger than life, such as: Why don’t you ever help clean the house? Why don’t you ask me how my day was anymore? Or, they can create family loyalty conflicts that sound like this: Why do you always let your mother tell you what to do? The “growing pains” in relationships— around money, children, and sex—all require the skills to negotiate what’s fair.

Here, Dr. B. Janet Hibbs provides readers with a road map for recognizing imbalances and building a stronger, more loving relationship based on a new kind of fairness—one that they create with their partner. Filled with compassion, practical advice, and compelling, real-life examples throughout, this book offers a groundbreaking understanding of the root cause of conflicts that erode relationships. It is essential reading for therapists and all couples.