Alan Downs, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice located in Beverly Hills, California. He is the author of seven previous books and continues to write and hold workshops across the United States. He is actively involved in dialectical behavior therapy and is a member of the Beverly Hills DBT Team. Dr. Downs is the former CEO of Michael's House Treatment Center where he currently holds weekend workshops for families of those struggling with addictions. His current book, THE VELVET RAGE, has been acclaimed as "groundbreaking" for the gay male community. Dr. Downs has been a guest on many media programs including, THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW, TODAY SHOW, and NPR's MORNING EDITION.
发表于2024-12-23
The Velvet Rage 2024 pdf epub mobi 电子书
图书标签: LGBT 英文原版 gay Non-Fiction Gay 美国 非虚构 性别研究
This is the groundbreaking examination of the psychology of homosexuality and why it leads to shame over one's identity, and how to overcome it - now expanded and fully updated. Today's gay man enjoys unprecedented, hard-won social acceptance. Despite this victory, however, serious problems still exist. Substance abuse, depression, suicide and sex addiction among gay men are at an all-time high, causing many to ask, "Are we really better off?" Drawing on contemporary research, psychologist Alan Downs' own struggle with shame and anger, and stories from his patients, "The Velvet Rage" passionately describes the stages of a gay man's journey out of shame and offers practical and inspired strategies to stop the cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behaviour. Updated to reflect the effects of the many recent social, cultural and political changes, "The Velvet Rage" is an empowering book that has already changed the public discourse on gay culture and helped shape the identity of an entire generation of gay men.
断断续续看了快两周,我觉得可以称为Gay Bible了,shame is all about how to be a true man。
评分作者那套shame和validation的理论其实不止是gay men,适用于所有人。身边就有活生生的例子,做的一切都是要得到validation,不是因为自己喜欢,而是无意义的作秀,得不到validation就气急败坏;因为shame而一定要在别的方面得到补偿;敏感自卑,一点小事就觉得别人侮辱自己。 反思自己有时候也会把个人全部的价值建筑在别人的validation上
评分14章给出的list很有趣。作者以3 stages of gay men的发展历程叙述;看完后觉得我们并不需要用哪个stage去归类自己,而是意识到我们时刻都在不同的stage之间游走,更要保持警醒。愿每个人都能获得authenticity
评分作者那套shame和validation的理论其实不止是gay men,适用于所有人。身边就有活生生的例子,做的一切都是要得到validation,不是因为自己喜欢,而是无意义的作秀,得不到validation就气急败坏;因为shame而一定要在别的方面得到补偿;敏感自卑,一点小事就觉得别人侮辱自己。 反思自己有时候也会把个人全部的价值建筑在别人的validation上
评分书中对成长中内化的羞耻感shame的挖掘比较深入,虽然现在时代变好了,大环境稍微开放了点,但是成长过程中的创伤存在潜意识里并不那么容易根除。如何寻找获得authentic validation的生活方式可能是很多人一生都不一定解的开的结吧。
The Velvet Rage 2024 pdf epub mobi 电子书