章節及標題：
1. 兆正離傢走上街去的時候，兩旁的街燈恰好在那一刻間開始熠熠放亮
他不知道，如能讓他從頭來過，重經一次生命曆程的話，他會不會再去愛？又會去愛誰？
Exactly at the moment when Zhao Zheng left home and set his foot on the street, the lights on both sides of the street started glowing
He wondered, if he could re-start his life and go through it again, whether he will be able to love again, and whom he will then love？
2. 迴去少年時
半晌，他纔敢偷偷地抬起眼皮來。坐在他前排斜對麵的她的半片腮頰落入瞭他的視綫範圍內：雪白之中滲透著一種隱隱約約的粉紅色，一綹鬢發垂下來，繞過她的耳畔，越過她的耳垂，因此也就超越齣瞭他的視野的疆界。
Back to his Teenage
After a long while, he was able to gather up enough courage to lift his eyelids to steal a look at the profile of her face two rows across in the front: her snow-white skin with a touch of pink, a lock of hair draping down around her ear, over her eardrop, and therefore out of the range of his sight.
3. 兆正所說的“他”，就是我……
我說：當年，能擺脫那種強大漩渦之嚮心力的與今天能跳齣這種虛無潮流的是同一種人。這種人都是極少數，但這種人是成功者。因為曆史需要的成功者永遠也隻是極少數。
The HE that Zhao Zheng mentioned is ME
I said, those who managed to shake off the gravity of the whirlpool of that era, and those who managed to keep away from the illusory trend of today are of the same kind. They are scarce, but they are winners; because winners, as history needs, are always limited.
4. 1964：那條弄堂，那幢洋房，那把帶圓柄的闊扶梯
上午十時許，耀眼的陽光從紅磚拱窗間射入房來，偶爾有鴿群從窗口間弧飛而過。對馬路的廠裏正播放第三套工間操的音樂，透過夾竹桃的葉影，能見到一排列隊在人行道上的戴工作帽穿藍白大褂的工廠人員正作齣大兜腰的伸展動作。
1964：that alley, that house, that broad stairs with round handrail
Around ten o’clock in the morning, the dazzling sunshine pierced through the redbrick arc window; occasionally some pigeons fluttered curving past the window. In the factory across the street the loudspeaker was broadcasting some exercise music for the recess; through the leaves, one can see workers with caps and overalls in white and blue were stretching their waists.
5. 湛玉和那份月曆牌……
湛玉的目光從廚房裏退齣來，來到瞭飯廳裏。它們掃到瞭掛在牆上的一幅很普通的月份掛曆牌，便隨即垂落瞭下來。
Zhan Yu and that wall calendar
Zhan Yu took her eyes back from the kitchen, and cast them into the dinning room. She shot a glance at that very common calendar hung on the wall, and then dropped her eyes.
6. 復興彆墅：二十世紀五十年代
就這樣，我們的小小舞蹈傢便經過油站，走進瞭那條弄堂裏。
夏日的晌午，弄堂裏安靜得不見半個人影。彆墅是公寓式的花園洋房，有赭紅色的尖頂和矮矮的赭紅色的圍牆，這一排的前花園對著那一排的後花園。
Fu Xing Villa: in the 50s of Twentieth Century
This way, our little ballerina passed the gas station and walked into that alley.
At the mid noon of the summer, the alley was quiet with no one in sight. The villa was a garden house with dark red pointed top and low dark red walls. The front garden of one house faced the back garden of anther house.
7. 湛玉和我：三十年之前與之後
我們於是分手。待我從牆角轉彎處忍不住迴望時，她的身影已在夜色中消失，幾輛自行車正慢悠悠地從我身旁經過，搖響瞭車鈴。
Zhan Yu and Me: thirty years prior and after
We parted each other on the street. When I walked around the corner of the wall and could not help turning my head around to steal a look at her, her figure had already vanished in the darkness of the night. A few bicycles were slowly passing away, cranking their bells.
8. 白老師的目光
她隻知道，記憶有時會將那四束目光纏繞在一起，叫她分辨不清楚：哪兩束是兆正的，而哪兩束是白老師的。
The look in Mr. Bai’s eyes
She only felt that memories would sometimes blend the four rays from their eyes. She could not distinguish between the two from Zhao Zheng and the two from Mr. Bai.
9. 黃昏，那同一個黃昏
其實，所謂名字，隻是人的一個存在符號，是每當提及某某或某某時率先進入說者與聽者思想屏幕的一團音容笑貌形態動作的印象拼圖而已。莎士比亞說，人叫什麼名字其實沒什麼意義：一種叫玫瑰的花，假如更改瞭花名，還不一樣香？
Twilight, in the same twilight
In fact, the so-called names are nothing but symbols for human existence. When one’s name is mentioned, It is just some bits of impressions of a person pieced together reflected in the mind of the speaker or listener, the bits of one’s face, voice, smile, gesture and manner etc… Shakespeare once mentioned as a matter of fact, the name of a person means nothing; a rose is so called, the aroma still remains even if its name is changed.
10. 拔河賽：兆正變成瞭我與湛玉間的那根繩索
我嚮湛玉說：“你我都能從他的作品中讀齣來的是一種評論傢學者和教授們永遠也讀不齣來的感覺：這是一種隱隱的心痛，隱隱的悲哀，隱隱的愛，隱隱的恨，隱隱的決心，隱隱的一些不知名的什麼。”
A tug of war: Zhao Zheng became the rope between Zhan Yu and me
Once I said to Zhan Yu,“What you and me can obtain from his literary works is a feeling that neither critics and pundits can ever get. This is a type of faint heartache and grief, lurking love and hate, hidden resolve, and some other inexplicably secrets.”
11. 雨萍•童年•東上海
在這她從小就生活慣瞭的環境之中，她不明白這一切的一切為什麼會突然顯得如此新鮮，如此陌生，如此感人，如此就具有瞭某種異樣的生命涵義？
Yu Ping•Childhood•Eastern Shanghai
Here she had got used to all the living conditions since her childhood. She did not understand why all those memories had all of a sudden become so fresh, so unfamiliar, so touching, so imputed with an altered content of life.
12. 兩條人生平行綫
有時，我真不知道，他是否有意給我們讓齣瞭時間和空間？我嚮湛玉說，真的，我一直有這樣的一種預感。
Two parallel lines in life
Sometimes I really wondered if he had chosen to give us the time and space, I said to Zhan Yu. Really, I have such a feeling for a long time.
13. 湛玉眼中的某個1964年初夏的上午
就這麼通上的電，歡樂與希望的彩燈一下子全點亮瞭。就這麼一次的這麼個瞬間，人生的節日前夜有時比節日之本身更令人難忘。
An early summer morning of 1964 in Zhan Yu’s eyes
So here comes the electricity. The colorful lamps of joy and hope are lit up at that split second. The eve of the holiday of life is sometimes more unforgettable than the holiday itself.
14. 我與湛玉床笫間的一次對話
……在我們青春發育期信仰模式的強行灌鑄對應著我們更年期的對價值觀劇變的殘酷適應。我們一直是落伍者。
A dialogue between Zhan Yu and me in bed
……Just as our beliefs were forged in coercion during our youth, our adaptation to the rapidly changing value during our mid ages is also brutal. We have been dropouts all along.
15. 究竟，那件“韆結衫”去瞭哪兒？
奇怪的是：等到跨過瞭某個生命階段的門坎之後，如今，他最想迴去看看的又漸漸變為瞭他從前生活過的那個地方瞭。人生是個圓周，不知從何時起，他的人生軌跡又在不知不覺中嚮著它的始點迴歸瞭。
Where is that sweater?
Strangely, when he walked past a certain threshold in life, what he most wanted to look at when he returned was actually the place where he had lived before. Life is a circle. From some point in his life, now the track was returning to its starting point before he knew it.
16. 都整整三十年瞭，但路又是怎麼一步一個腳印地走過來的呢？
他說：這是真的嗎？在這黃昏的光綫中，他的那對烏黑烏黑的眸子深邃悠遠得像是一條沒有盡端的巷弄。她使勁地點瞭點頭。他一把擁抱住瞭她：“謝謝你，親愛的，謝謝你！……”他的聲音遙遠含糊朦朧得像是夢囈。
A whole thirty-year is gone. But how each and every step has been walked on this road?
He said, is this true? In the twilight, his dark eyes, deep and quiet, were just like an unending alley. She was intensely nodding her head. He grabbed her into his arms. “Thank you, sweetie, thank you！……”His voice was remote, vague and hazy, like dream talk.
17. 讓時光再一次倒流。
1968年，1968年的一個清澄的夏夜
謝的故事的後文，那倒是幾十年後我再從湛玉那裏聽說的。後文的場景變成瞭刑場。他，她，她以及我。於是，便徐徐地織網齣一個可以互相貫通的人生故事來，而當一個局外人的謝姓的他突然失足，跌進深淵，他絕望瞭的驚呼從三十年前的榖底傳上來，至今讓人聽瞭毛骨悚然。
Let time roll back once more. In the year 1968, a clear summer night of 1968.
The sequel to the story of Mr. Xie was related to me by Zhan Yu several decades later. The scene of the sequel had become the execution field. He, she, she and me then have gradually knit a web of life stories that have connected all of us. While the outsider Mr. Xie suddenly slipped and fell into an abyss, his desperate scream from the bottom of that abyss thirty years ago still echoes up and sends chill feelings down one’s spine even today.
18. 財富的背麵
雨萍說，我們不要太多的錢——我們乾嘛要很多很多，多得可能一生一世都用不完的錢呢？錢的數額以及用處僅僅是用來過活的——在這條標準綫之下，錢的作用是正麵的。再超過，錢就會逐漸變質；它會變成瞭一個掠奪者，錢將本應屬於人的很多東西都一一掠奪走瞭：理想、時光、情趣、寜靜的心情，還有良心良知的原始美。
Behind the wealth
Yu Ping said, we don’t want too much money—why do we have to make so much money that we can’t even spend all during our life time? The amount of money and its expense are only for a living—with this standard, the effect of money is positive. If in excess of that standard, money will change its nature. It will become a robber, robbing away a lot of things that should have belonged to us: ideals, time, hobbies, peace of mind, and the original beauty of conscience.
19.那本叫《從醜小鴨到女明星到超級富婆》的暢銷書
她賦予瞭它一種正義性，一種批判性，一種似乎要鎮壓住某個魔瓶中的邪念不要在一不留神拔瓶塞的刹那間逃逸而齣的煞肅性。然而事實還是不容改變：她在第一時間念及的恰恰就是那個“賤女人”。
That popular book 《From an ugly little girl to a movie star and then to a super wealthy woman》
She gave it a sense of righteousness, of criticism, and a force of repression with which she hoped to prevent some evil ideas from erupting out of the magical bottleneck of her heart. Nevertheless, the person that immediately sprang into her mind was that “nasty woman”.
20. 那幢紅磚的猶太老洋房：記憶從哪兒始端，也從哪兒隱去
待到她長大成年瞭，這兩個自幼年起就形成瞭的逆嚮情結經常會交錯輪番地在她的心中上上落落，齣齣沒沒，不可捉摸得有時連她自個兒也未必分得清楚什麼纔是什麼。
That redbrick jewish old house: from which memories refreshed and disappeared
As she grew up, those two opposite complexes of her life emerged from the depth of her heart, so hauned, so subtle and so interwoven that even she herself did not know who was who, and what was what.
21. 夜，深沉的夜，房內沒點燈
他一個躍身騎瞭上去（此時，他已經汗流浹背瞭），隻記得那一刻，他覺得自己生平第一次像個凱鏇的騎士，高高在上，榮耀迴歸。
That Night. That deep night. No lights in the room
He leapt on (even though he was already sweating all over). What he only remembered was that for the first time in his life he felt like a triumphant knight, riding high and returning in glory.
22. 機場遇故
她從桌的對麵笑眯眯地望著我，她的眼中調皮著一種淺淺的酒的醉意。她說，怎麼樣，不肯給人麵子呀，大老闆？但不知道為何，我望著她，突然語塞，我沉默瞭。
Bumping into old friends in the airport
She was looking at me with a smile across the table. Her mischievous eyes carried some slight drunkenness. She said, can’t you give somebody the honor, high roller?
I didn’t know why, but I was only staring at her, suddenly lost for words. I fell into silence.
23. 世界，從秀秀的眼中呈現齣來
那時，他們一傢三口就是這樣溫馨而滿足地生活在用這套傢具布置齣來的二室戶的老式工房裏。哪一天，等秀秀結瞭婚，有瞭孩子，成瞭個中年婦人，當她也嚮她的孩子們講述起她的童年往事的時候，那套亞光柚木貼麵的傢具便無形之中成為瞭她的故事的背景編織材料瞭，就像那幢紅磚老洋房，那座拱型門窗和室內露颱在她母親的記憶中所占的位置相類似。
The world spreading out in Xiu Xiu’ s eyes.
At that time, their family of three were living in that old-fashioned two-room apartment, happy and content. When one day Xiu Xiu gets married, and she herself becomes a mother, and a middle-aged woman, when she tells a story to her own children, that set of teak-skimmed furniture will become the background of her story, just as the redbrick old house, the arc window and the balcony were deeply embedded in her mother’s memories.
24. 那個香港之夜，那個香港之午
現在，兆正正嚮公路旁的一座半開放式的電話亭走去，他想通過電話筒嚮雨萍講的第一句話也就是這同一句話；他還想問她說：還記得嗎？十年前的那個下午，在香港君悅酒店的大堂咖啡廳裏，海水與天空是那麼藍，陽光是那麼地耀眼，那麼地好。
That night in Hong Kong, and that noon in Hong Kong
Now, Zhao Zheng is walking towards a half open telephone booth on the roadside. The first words he wants to say through the mouthpiece of the phone are the same words he said before. He also wants to ask her, do you still remember that afternoon ten years ago in the lobby cafe of the Grand Hotel, the sea and the sky were so blue, and the sunshine was so bright, and so cozy?
25. 有一幅照片站立在梳妝矮櫃上，正麵對著大床
突然，湛玉都很想知道這一切。而直覺更告訴她：雖然在眼前，雨萍還成不瞭她的對手，但將來？將來的事，誰也說不清。
A photo was standing on the low dressing table, facing the huge bed
All of a sudden, Zhan Yu wanted to know all of this. Her hunch further told her, at the moment, Yu Ping couldn’t be her rival; but what about in the future? Nobody could tell what will happen in the future.
26. “SOMEWHERE IN TIME”
雨萍拖著腿迴到傢中，心情沮喪得幾乎想大哭一場——於她，這是很少有的事。多少年後，當她第一次隱隱約約地聽說兆正錶哥最近與他同班的一位女同學有如何如何往來的時候，她幾乎能夠在第一時間裏就肯定：所謂她，就是她。
“Somewhere In Time”
Yu Ping dragged her legs home, and her heart was so grief-stricken that she really wanted to cry hard. For her, such things had rarely happened before. After so many years, when she first heard about Cousin Zhao Zheng being recently together with a girl, she could almost ascertain immediately, the girl must be her.
27. 寶大西餐廳裏的白老師以及誰
內座上的光綫很暗，有一條湖綠色的泡泡沙長裙的裙邊在飄動。但立刻，她前行的腳步停住瞭。她畏縮地朝後退去，仿佛占據那張棕皮高背卡座的不是兩個人，而是兩條巨大的蟒蛇！
Mr. Bai in the Bao Da Restaurant with somebody else
The light was very dim in the inner seat. She saw the edges of a long soft green skirt fluttering. All of a sudden, her moving steps stopped, and she started to move backwards with fear as if the occupants of that seat were two huge snakes instead of two people.
28. 同是那個晚春的黃昏天：時空的另一個切麵
她拿著一本一九五六年人民文學版的《安娜》重新迴到自己的床上，躺下。她想，畢竟這纔是一本真正屬於她的書。就當她百無聊賴地翻動著書頁，情緒還沒來得及完全進入其中時，她聽見，門鈴響瞭。
The same dusk in late spring: another side of the Time and Space
She was taking a copy of Anna Karenina published in 1956 by People’s Literature Publishing House back to her bed. She laid down thinking that was a book that really belonged to her. She was flipping the pages and her mood could hardly get into it when she heard a doorbell.
29. 獨行，在香港太平山頂的山道上
這些臆想有夢的成分也有現實的。我又一次地混淆瞭自己的角色和立場，我究竟是“他”還仍然是我自己？我生活在之前，之中，之後？我在記錄著一個真實事件？在講一個故事？在繼續著一篇小說的創作？還是……？
Walking alone along the path on the upper Peace Mount in Hong Kong……
Such imagination is embedded with both dream and reality. I once again got confused with my role and stand. Am I now HE or still myself? Am I living prior to, or in the middle of, or after? Am I recording a truth event, or telling a story, or continuing to write a fiction, or……？
30. 算不上是真相的真相
就這麼個亮點，或者說黑洞，構成瞭兆正對於事件的全部反應與報復。
The truth untold
It was the spotlight, or the black hole that constituted Zhao Zheng’s complete response to and revenge on this event.
31. 尾聲
有時，人生的緣分有點像七巧拼版，盈缺凹凸，這一個人此一刻的鑲入處正是那一個人那一刻的凹缺處。
The coda
Sometimes the fate of human relationship is just like a chessboard, or a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece has something more that another has less.
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