CHAPTER 1<br > Incest: If You Think<br > the Word Is Ugly...<br > BEGINTHIS BOOK by defining incest， not in technical terms (that definition<br > is provided in Chapter 2) but graphically and through the eyes of a<br > victim. This portrayal is a composite- incest is very complex and has many<br > different patterns of occurrence. To understand the incest survivor， it is<br > absolutely essential to understand what she experienced and to see it from<br > her perspective. The clinician must know what to expect about the experi-<br >"~ ence and how ugly it can be.<br > The reality of incest is infants， babies， little girls， preadolescents and<br > adolescents lying in their cribs and beds in fear. They become hyperat-<br > tuned to footsteps， creaking stairs， breathing， and the light that appears<br > around a bedroom door when it is opened at night. They are aware of being<br > watched， usually quietly， obsessively， and with lustful eyes. Sometimes all<br > the bed and stares. Sometimes he breathes heavily， rapidly， moans a little<br > that happens is that he stands at the door or just inside the door or sits on<br > and then goes away.<br > " At other times， he touches her. He usually begins gently and talks softly<br > as he rubs her body. He does this when he tucks her in at night after<br > wishing her sweet dreams or later when she awakens to find him back in<br > her bedroom， touching..， feeling..， and kissing her. He tells her it s their<br > little secret and to not tell anyone for telling will spoil it. She knows it feels<br > good but doesn t understand the not telling anyone part. She begins to<br > wonder<br > Then she awakens to find his hands up her nightgown or down her<br > pajamas， rubbing her breasts， her thighs and buttocks， and "down there: <br > Thhiis. chapter title is adapted from an article by Myers (n.d.) entitled "Incest: If you<br > nmk the word is ugly， take a look at its effects."<br >