Contents

Thanks About this book

Some thoughts about communicating

Only connect!

We'll hunt tonight

Words, gestures and clothing

The children who couldn't speak

People who can't understand

Checklist for successful

communication

How to use verbal language

Why do we want to communicate?

Why is he speaking?

But he doesn't mean what he says!

words!words! words!

Does‘ch'a’mean‘tea’?

We don't seem to speak the same language!

The generation gap

The knowledge gap

Characteristics of everyday speech

Language and thinking

Speaking in different ways

What are they saying?

Don't play the wrong music!

Talking to foreign visitors

How to understand body language

Look as well as listen!

I can read him like a book... or can I?

But it's only natural!

Some non-verbal language is‘natural’and some isn't

The head toss

The history of the head toss meaning ‘No’

The true and authentic head toss!

What does this position mean?

Curtain up!

What is she saying... What is he thinking?

What do these gestures mean?

‘She’s a typical librarian!

But these are real people!

What about you?

How to read a face

Our faces and-our personalities

Our faces and our expressions

Eyes: the windows of the soul

Your eyes and your personality

Eye contact in conversation

How to use space

The Englishman's home is his castle

Talking, sitting and standing

Give me elbow room!

Some general guidance for visitors to North America and Britain

Crowded places

Do you touch people?

Touching in four cities

Common touching and uncommon touching in the West

How to recognise the roles people play

An introduction to roles

Three people in every person

How to recognise a parent

How to recognise an adult

How to recognise a child

Can you recognise the parent, the adult and the child in yourself?

Don't get your lines crossed!

Things aren't what they seem to be!

What sort of game do you play?

I'm no good at anything really

They are no good

I'm only trying to help

If only I wasn't so busy

Sweetheart

Kiss me? You must be joking!

Why are games important?

It's not alway easy

How to get on with people

How to be a good listener

Repeating what the other person has said

Encouraging and discouraging

How to be a good

conversationalist

Statements and questions

Open and closed questions

The‘agree with me’question

Double questions

Agreeing and disagreeing

A good conversation

Politeness and‘pass-time’

conyersarions

Do you often keep away from other people?

Do you often exchange politenesses with people?

Do you talk to people just to pass the time?

How to start a conversation in Brirain

Another approach

Conversational flowchart

How to interest someone of the opposite sex

First stage

Second stage

How to argue

Do you really want to argue?

If you don't want to hurt the other person

Three ways of arguing

Ethos

Logos

Pathos

All three!

General advice

Some important points for thinkers and arguers

Facts

Generalisations

Hypothesis

Criticising the other person

Some very poor arguments!

How to protect yourself against salespeople

How to observe the customer...YOU!

The salesperson is taught what to say to you

On the telephone

The questions a salesperson uses

It isn't only words that sell!

The ideal interview

Last thoughts

Answers

Acknowledgements