Alfie Kohn is the author of nine previous books, including Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve, that have helped to shape the thinking of parents and educators across the country and abroad. He lectures widely and lives (actually) with his family in the Boston are and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.
Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need - and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that quetion are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.
One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.
More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
發表於2024-12-27
UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu 2024 pdf epub mobi 電子書 下載
最近看瞭兩本教育方麵的書,《閱讀的力量》和《無條件養育》。第一本是講自由、自願的閱讀的好處,拖泥帶水的幾百頁,讀完就記得這個結論瞭。 《無條件養育》倒是在很大程度上與我之前的想法衝突很大。 論壇裏麵經常有父母討論如何教育孩子的,“那天終於忍不住揍瞭他一頓”...
評分有條件養育下成長的我,如何無條件養育自己的孩子? 這是我從小就在思考的問題,當然彼時還不曉得「有條件」「無條件」的概念,隻是睏惑,「幼時在暴烈環境下幸存的人,未來可能對自己的孩子溫柔以待嗎?」聽聞過太多不幸的宿命循環,對這個問題自然格外觀照。 接觸到「無條件...
評分看瞭前三章,心情很沉重。作者說的有條件養育我深有體會,因為爸爸就是這樣教育我們的。我現在已經當媽瞭,近三十的人瞭,但還是能很清晰的記得,讀中學的時候爸爸是怎麼教育的。人生中兩次重要的考試,初中升高中和高中升大學,我成績不穩,模擬考都考得很爛,爸爸就綳著個臉...
評分有條件養育下成長的我,如何無條件養育自己的孩子? 這是我從小就在思考的問題,當然彼時還不曉得「有條件」「無條件」的概念,隻是睏惑,「幼時在暴烈環境下幸存的人,未來可能對自己的孩子溫柔以待嗎?」聽聞過太多不幸的宿命循環,對這個問題自然格外觀照。 接觸到「無條件...
圖書標籤: 育兒 Parenting 英文原版 教育 心理學 教育理念 Education 傢庭
車軲轆話翻來倒去的說,真的很佩服老外。不過這個概念我非常接受
評分一,作為父母,無條件地愛孩子,是由於ta是你的孩子,而不是由於ta做瞭哪些可以讓你自豪的事。這種無條件的愛,既不是溺愛,也不是對你的孩子市恩市義(所謂養育之恩,即屬市恩市義)。二,做齣恰當決定的能力需要從幼年一點點培養、曆練,並讓孩子瞭解每一項決定都與責任的承擔有關。學習做齣恰當決定的途徑,恰恰是通過做決定本身,而非通過聽從他人指導。三,要有勇氣、有能力麵對和質疑自己的養育經曆以及被養育的經曆。是的,人通常不願意質疑自己、質疑自己親近的人,尤其是自己父母。但誰都不是完人,包括你和你父母,所以,隻要用心,一定會找到可以改進的地方,使自己變得更好並嘗試做更好的父母。
評分車軲轆話翻來倒去的說,真的很佩服老外。不過這個概念我非常接受
評分一,作為父母,無條件地愛孩子,是由於ta是你的孩子,而不是由於ta做瞭哪些可以讓你自豪的事。這種無條件的愛,既不是溺愛,也不是對你的孩子市恩市義(所謂養育之恩,即屬市恩市義)。二,做齣恰當決定的能力需要從幼年一點點培養、曆練,並讓孩子瞭解每一項決定都與責任的承擔有關。學習做齣恰當決定的途徑,恰恰是通過做決定本身,而非通過聽從他人指導。三,要有勇氣、有能力麵對和質疑自己的養育經曆以及被養育的經曆。是的,人通常不願意質疑自己、質疑自己親近的人,尤其是自己父母。但誰都不是完人,包括你和你父母,所以,隻要用心,一定會找到可以改進的地方,使自己變得更好並嘗試做更好的父母。
評分一,作為父母,無條件地愛孩子,是由於ta是你的孩子,而不是由於ta做瞭哪些可以讓你自豪的事。這種無條件的愛,既不是溺愛,也不是對你的孩子市恩市義(所謂養育之恩,即屬市恩市義)。二,做齣恰當決定的能力需要從幼年一點點培養、曆練,並讓孩子瞭解每一項決定都與責任的承擔有關。學習做齣恰當決定的途徑,恰恰是通過做決定本身,而非通過聽從他人指導。三,要有勇氣、有能力麵對和質疑自己的養育經曆以及被養育的經曆。是的,人通常不願意質疑自己、質疑自己親近的人,尤其是自己父母。但誰都不是完人,包括你和你父母,所以,隻要用心,一定會找到可以改進的地方,使自己變得更好並嘗試做更好的父母。
UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu 2024 pdf epub mobi 電子書 下載