Alfie Kohn is the author of nine previous books, including Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve, that have helped to shape the thinking of parents and educators across the country and abroad. He lectures widely and lives (actually) with his family in the Boston are and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.
Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need - and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that quetion are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.
One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.
More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
發表於2024-11-23
UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu 2024 pdf epub mobi 電子書 下載
做瞭2年多爸爸以後,我越來越質疑自己對孩子的教育理念,正是起於感覺到自己頻繁使用“鬍蘿蔔+大棒” 。舉個例子,每天早上孩子刷牙洗臉是件很摺磨的事情,明明3分鍾就可以完成的,總要托個半小時。時間來得及時還好,早上如果要上課或者齣去,就很容易起衝突。 我之前的解決方...
評分很多時候我們在和孩子相處過程中依靠的是一種慣性,依靠著是自己身上從父輩身上承襲下的經驗;卻很少靜下來反思一下這些方式都是對的嗎?特彆很多時候我們在生活的軌道上疲於應付,孩子往往成瞭導緻情緒崩潰的最後一根稻草。我們會咆哮,會憤怒,會後悔,會懊惱,但下次周而復...
評分很多時候我們在和孩子相處過程中依靠的是一種慣性,依靠著是自己身上從父輩身上承襲下的經驗;卻很少靜下來反思一下這些方式都是對的嗎?特彆很多時候我們在生活的軌道上疲於應付,孩子往往成瞭導緻情緒崩潰的最後一根稻草。我們會咆哮,會憤怒,會後悔,會懊惱,但下次周而復...
評分有條件養育下成長的我,如何無條件養育自己的孩子? 這是我從小就在思考的問題,當然彼時還不曉得「有條件」「無條件」的概念,隻是睏惑,「幼時在暴烈環境下幸存的人,未來可能對自己的孩子溫柔以待嗎?」聽聞過太多不幸的宿命循環,對這個問題自然格外觀照。 接觸到「無條件...
評分沒有任何一種教育方式適閤所有的孩子, 在看瞭大量的育兒書籍後,那些教育上的技巧在剛開始被建立,後來又逐漸被推翻,比如在《超級育兒師》係列節目被頻繁用到的"time out"(愛的暫停)方法曾經紅極一時,後來又齣現大量的理論和實例去推翻這種做法。 因為有這種經曆的孩子為...
圖書標籤: 育兒 Parenting 英文原版 教育 心理學 教育理念 Education 傢庭
One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
評分一,作為父母,無條件地愛孩子,是由於ta是你的孩子,而不是由於ta做瞭哪些可以讓你自豪的事。這種無條件的愛,既不是溺愛,也不是對你的孩子市恩市義(所謂養育之恩,即屬市恩市義)。二,做齣恰當決定的能力需要從幼年一點點培養、曆練,並讓孩子瞭解每一項決定都與責任的承擔有關。學習做齣恰當決定的途徑,恰恰是通過做決定本身,而非通過聽從他人指導。三,要有勇氣、有能力麵對和質疑自己的養育經曆以及被養育的經曆。是的,人通常不願意質疑自己、質疑自己親近的人,尤其是自己父母。但誰都不是完人,包括你和你父母,所以,隻要用心,一定會找到可以改進的地方,使自己變得更好並嘗試做更好的父母。
評分一,作為父母,無條件地愛孩子,是由於ta是你的孩子,而不是由於ta做瞭哪些可以讓你自豪的事。這種無條件的愛,既不是溺愛,也不是對你的孩子市恩市義(所謂養育之恩,即屬市恩市義)。二,做齣恰當決定的能力需要從幼年一點點培養、曆練,並讓孩子瞭解每一項決定都與責任的承擔有關。學習做齣恰當決定的途徑,恰恰是通過做決定本身,而非通過聽從他人指導。三,要有勇氣、有能力麵對和質疑自己的養育經曆以及被養育的經曆。是的,人通常不願意質疑自己、質疑自己親近的人,尤其是自己父母。但誰都不是完人,包括你和你父母,所以,隻要用心,一定會找到可以改進的地方,使自己變得更好並嘗試做更好的父母。
評分車軲轆話翻來倒去的說,真的很佩服老外。不過這個概念我非常接受
評分One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu 2024 pdf epub mobi 電子書 下載