Alfie Kohn is the author of nine previous books, including Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve, that have helped to shape the thinking of parents and educators across the country and abroad. He lectures widely and lives (actually) with his family in the Boston are and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.
发表于2024-06-18
UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu 2024 pdf epub mobi 电子书
有多少父母都举着爱的大旗对孩子的心灵造成创伤和痛苦?有多少家长在不知不觉中把自己自卑,挫败,虚荣和焦虑传染给了孩子?不看这本书,我几乎要忘了自己曾经走过的心路。我知道有时候时间是治愈一切的良药,没人喜欢自揭伤疤重温过去。但其实没有什么过去和未来,当下发...
评分有条件养育下成长的我,如何无条件养育自己的孩子? 这是我从小就在思考的问题,当然彼时还不晓得「有条件」「无条件」的概念,只是困惑,「幼时在暴烈环境下幸存的人,未来可能对自己的孩子温柔以待吗?」听闻过太多不幸的宿命循环,对这个问题自然格外观照。 接触到「无条件...
评分很多时候我们在和孩子相处过程中依靠的是一种惯性,依靠着是自己身上从父辈身上承袭下的经验;却很少静下来反思一下这些方式都是对的吗?特别很多时候我们在生活的轨道上疲于应付,孩子往往成了导致情绪崩溃的最后一根稻草。我们会咆哮,会愤怒,会后悔,会懊恼,但下次周而复...
评分看了前三章,心情很沉重。作者说的有条件养育我深有体会,因为爸爸就是这样教育我们的。我现在已经当妈了,近三十的人了,但还是能很清晰的记得,读中学的时候爸爸是怎么教育的。人生中两次重要的考试,初中升高中和高中升大学,我成绩不稳,模拟考都考得很烂,爸爸就绷着个脸...
评分做了2年多爸爸以后,我越来越质疑自己对孩子的教育理念,正是起于感觉到自己频繁使用“胡萝卜+大棒” 。举个例子,每天早上孩子刷牙洗脸是件很折磨的事情,明明3分钟就可以完成的,总要托个半小时。时间来得及时还好,早上如果要上课或者出去,就很容易起冲突。 我之前的解决方...
图书标签: 育儿 Parenting 英文原版 教育 心理学 教育理念 Education 家庭
Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need - and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that quetion are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.
One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.
More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
车轱辘话翻来倒去的说,真的很佩服老外。不过这个概念我非常接受
评分One of the best parenting books I've ever read. Answered most of my questions regarding discipline. I have changed my old practices and need to revise my previous writings.
评分车轱辘话翻来倒去的说,真的很佩服老外。不过这个概念我非常接受
评分一,作为父母,无条件地爱孩子,是由于ta是你的孩子,而不是由于ta做了哪些可以让你自豪的事。这种无条件的爱,既不是溺爱,也不是对你的孩子市恩市义(所谓养育之恩,即属市恩市义)。二,做出恰当决定的能力需要从幼年一点点培养、历练,并让孩子了解每一项决定都与责任的承担有关。学习做出恰当决定的途径,恰恰是通过做决定本身,而非通过听从他人指导。三,要有勇气、有能力面对和质疑自己的养育经历以及被养育的经历。是的,人通常不愿意质疑自己、质疑自己亲近的人,尤其是自己父母。但谁都不是完人,包括你和你父母,所以,只要用心,一定会找到可以改进的地方,使自己变得更好并尝试做更好的父母。
评分车轱辘话翻来倒去的说,真的很佩服老外。不过这个概念我非常接受
UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING Moving from Rewards and Pu 2024 pdf epub mobi 电子书