埃爾菲•科恩,美國知名育兒作傢、教育學者,已齣版9部深具影響力的育兒著作,包括《奬勵的懲罰》(Punished by Rewards)及《真正的學校》(The School Our Children Deserve),其提齣的某些育兒觀念在國內外兒童教育界極富影響力。
譯者:小巫,著名兒童教育專傢。畢業於北京大學,美國Rutgers大學教育學碩士,國際母乳會哺乳輔導,美國父母效能訓練課程(P.E.T.)英文講師。著有《讓孩子做主》、《給孩子自由》、《和孩子劃清界限》、《跟上孩子成長的腳步》、《接納孩子》、《成功渡過母愛第一關》及《小巫廚房蜜語》等暢銷書籍。擔任中央電視颱、中國教育電視颱和中央人民廣播電颱等多傢媒體的長期嘉賓專傢、全國婦聯心係新生命組委會特聘專傢、清華大學特聘講師、清華優佳教育傢長研習顧問,被國外媒體譽為“中國的斯波剋博士”。
在綫閱讀本書
Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need -- and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting -- including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
《無條件養育》的作者認為應當慎用錶揚,就如同慎用批評一樣,孩子不應該因為做某事而被愛,應該因為他們是孩子而被愛。行為主義的方法如同馴狗,將食物、玩具、錶揚(或者說成人的喜愛)作為奬勵和懲罰的手段,使年幼的孩子時時生活擔心自己會受錶揚還是批評的巨大壓力...
評分這本書寫的觀點一下子讓人是有些接受不瞭,但是如果再把自己想像成一個孩子,就是明白確實就是這麼迴事。父母總是說愛孩子,所做的一切都是為瞭孩子。但是孩子的真實感受是什麼?他需要的是什麼? 如果我們愛孩子,為什麼孩子感覺到的卻是痛苦,難堪,自己的無用,不存在感。難...
評分感覺是白左那一套,鼓吹父母和兒童要平權。 一、不能懲罰 1.1. 體罰不用說瞭 1.2. 批評是精神懲罰 1.3 連被普遍接受的timeout,即犯錯之後雙規自省,都被質疑為“愛的剝奪” 二、不能贊賞 2.1 物質奬勵,是過早把市場機製引入傢庭,談錢傷感情,扭麯心理。 2.2 口頭錶揚,潛颱...
評分看瞭前三章,心情很沉重。作者說的有條件養育我深有體會,因為爸爸就是這樣教育我們的。我現在已經當媽瞭,近三十的人瞭,但還是能很清晰的記得,讀中學的時候爸爸是怎麼教育的。人生中兩次重要的考試,初中升高中和高中升大學,我成績不穩,模擬考都考得很爛,爸爸就綳著個臉...
評分幾年前讀過一次科恩的《無條件養育》,當時看得一知半解,留下瞭好些疑問。這幾年不斷的學習育兒知識,也在和一些好學的媽媽們的交流討論中成長瞭不少,我自己也在各種不同的渠道裏和大傢分享過自己在育兒道路上的一些小小心得體會。於是,最近又把《無條件養育》這本書翻齣來...
科恩的幾本書都很好,與無條件養育對應的是有條件養育,即小孩需要滿足大人的特定需求,大人纔會錶現齣愛孩子的行為/錶情;其它情況下,會讓孩子覺得你不愛他,
评分我也不知道為啥我要看這個。 不過發現瞭一個規律,每當一種育兒方法成為主流後就會有人齣來批評:你這方法都是錯的xxxxx。這本書就是反駁的現在這種奬賞分明誘導式的方法。
评分感覺一般般
评分interesting, on the theory of empathy, maybe there's more... people need to feel secure before they can reach out to the world
评分我也不知道為啥我要看這個。 不過發現瞭一個規律,每當一種育兒方法成為主流後就會有人齣來批評:你這方法都是錯的xxxxx。這本書就是反駁的現在這種奬賞分明誘導式的方法。
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